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How to Tell Your Girlfriend You Want Her to Sleep with Other Men

Writer's picture: Emily MooreEmily Moore

So, you want your girlfriend to sleep with other men, do you? You naughty, naughty thing! First of all, props to you for embracing your desires and wanting to share them with your partner. That takes courage and a whole lot of trust. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to our sexual fantasies. So, how do you even begin to bring this up with your girlfriend? Don't worry, you sexy minx, I'm here to help you navigate this exciting conversation and hopefully turn your fantasy into a reality.


Understand Your Own Desires

Before you bring this up with your girlfriend, it's important to understand your own desires and why you have them. Are you turned on by the thought of her with another man because it makes you feel desired and wanted? Is it the idea of her pleasure that excites you? Or is it the taboo nature of it all that gets your motor running? Understanding your own turn-ons will help you communicate your desires effectively and ensure that everyone involved is on the same page.



It's All About Pleasure

At the end of the day, sex is all about pleasure. We all have different things that turn us on and get us going. So, if the thought of your girlfriend getting freaky with someone else floats your boat, then own it! Sexual fantasies are a normal and healthy part of our sexuality. The key is to explore them in a way that is safe, consensual, and enjoyable for everyone involved.


Choose the Right Time and Place

Now that you've examined your own desires, it's time to bring it up with your girlfriend. Choosing the right time and place is crucial. You don't want to spring this on her when she's stressed about work or in the middle of an argument. Wait for a moment when you're both relaxed, connected, and open to intimate conversation. Perhaps it's during a romantic evening at home or a quiet weekend away. Create a safe and supportive atmosphere where she feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and feelings.


Start the Conversation

Here are some ways to initiate the conversation:

  • "Babe, I want to share something personal with you. I have a fantasy that I think about a lot, and I want to explore it with you. It involves you, me, and another man."


  • "I've been thinking about something that turns me on, and I want to talk to you about it because I trust you and value our sexual connection. It's a bit taboo, but I think it could be incredibly hot."


  • "I have a naughty idea that I think could take our sex life to the next level. It involves you sleeping with another man, and I want to discuss it because I think it could be an incredible experience for both of us."


By starting the conversation this way, you're letting her know that you trust her, value her pleasure, and see this as a shared experience. You're also giving her a heads-up that this might be a bit outside her comfort zone, but that it's something you're excited to explore together.


Listen to Her Response

Now it's time to listen. Really listen. This conversation is about both of you, and it's important to hear her thoughts, feelings, and concerns. She might be immediately turned on by the idea and ready to jump into bed with the nearest hunk. Or she might need some time to process and ask questions. Perhaps she's always fantasized about this too, or maybe it's a brand-new concept for her. Either way, respect her response and create a safe space for her to express herself without judgment.


Address Her Concerns

If she has concerns or hesitations, address them openly and honestly. Here are some common concerns she might have and how you can respond:


  • "What if I like him more than you?"

    • "I understand that this might be a worry, but I trust you and our relationship. This is about exploring a fantasy together and enhancing our sex life. It doesn't change the love and commitment we share."


  • "I'm worried it will be awkward or uncomfortable."

    • "We can take things at your pace. We can start by just talking about it, maybe sharing some fantasies, and seeing how it makes us feel. There's no pressure to do anything we're not comfortable with."


  • "What if it affects our relationship negatively?"

    • "I hear your concern, and that's why we need to set clear boundaries and rules. We can discuss what we're both comfortable with and make sure we're on the same page. Our relationship is important to me, and I want to make sure we do this in a way that brings us closer together."


Set Some Ground Rules

Before you dive into the fun part (aka the actual sex with a third party), it's crucial to set some ground rules together. This ensures that you're both comfortable and that your relationship remains the priority. Here are some things to discuss:

a panty with the sentence "it's not cheating if my husband watches"

  • Is this a one-time thing or an ongoing arrangement?


  • Are there any physical boundaries, such as no kissing on the mouth or no penetrative sex?


  • How will you choose the other man (or men)? Will you pick him together or surprise each other?


  • Will you be present during the encounter, or will it be just her and the other man?


  • What level of emotional involvement is acceptable? Is it purely physical, or can feelings be explored?


  • How will you communicate afterward? Will you share details, or is it something more private?


By setting these ground rules, you're creating a framework that ensures everyone's comfort and enjoyment. It also shows that you respect your girlfriend and your relationship, which is essential for maintaining trust.


Get Her Consent

Even if your girlfriend is intrigued by the idea, make sure you get her enthusiastic consent before moving forward. Consent is sexy, and it's important that she feels empowered to say yes or no at any stage of the process. Ask her if she's comfortable taking the next step, and respect her decision. If she's not quite ready, that's okay! You can always revisit the conversation later or adjust your approach.


Make It Happen

Now for the fun part! If your girlfriend is on board and raring to go, it's time to make it happen. Discuss how you want to find the lucky guy (or guys). Do you want to choose him together, or does she want to surprise you? Maybe you already have someone in mind, like a sexy friend or colleague. Ensure that whoever you choose respects your relationship dynamic and is comfortable with the boundaries you've set.


Enjoy the Experience

When the time comes, embrace the experience and enjoy the fruits of your honest communication. If you're both comfortable with it, you can be there to witness the action or even join in. Or, if you prefer, let her have some alone time with her new playmate and enjoy the sexy details later. Remember, this is about pleasure and exploration, so have fun with it!


Check-In Afterward

After the steamy encounter, check in with your girlfriend and see how she's feeling. Share your own thoughts and feelings as well. Discuss what you enjoyed, what surprised you, and how it made you feel about your relationship. This aftercare is important to process the experience and ensure that you're both on the same page emotionally.


Keep the Communication Open

Throughout this entire process, maintain open and honest communication. Check in with each other regularly to ensure that you're both still comfortable and excited about the arrangement. If anything changes or concerns arise, address them together. Remember, this is a shared journey of sexual exploration, and good communication is the key to unlocking mind-blowing experiences.


Embrace the Fantasy

Last but not least, embrace the fantasy and the reality that you've created together. Many couples never have the courage to explore their deepest desires, so give yourselves a pat on the back (or a sexy spank!). You've taken a walk on the wild side and discovered new levels of pleasure and trust. Now, go have some more fun!


Wanna read more? Check out our Kinks & Fetishes blogs


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